The Unhealthy Relationship in Disguise

I came across the article below, and I'm pretty excited to share it with our Coffey Break readers. Yes, your relationship may be as beautiful as that warm feeling that comes over you when you think about your significant other, but sometimes, that beautiful relationship is really mediocre at best disguising itself as something more appealing. Here's why this article is interesting; what about those who are in a relationship, things have become less rosy and doubt has begun to creep in? It's interesting because the term "gut feeling" couldn't be more literal in my life. Anytime I'm upset it goes directly to my stomach; which sucks because it's almost embarrassing how excited I get about food... I'm still trying to wrap my head around an efficient way to explain and identify the "unhealthy relationship". I will say this, if you are wired the way I am, you're stomach has already told you all you need to know. I think the author of the article does a fantastic job at helping one walk through scenarios and see things for what they are.

My humble advice to anyone questioning their relationship is to make a list. This has been my mom's default advice time and time again to logically sort through a very emotional process. Weigh the good against the bad and then read the article below.


It’s Not You, It’s Me….Hmm Actually It’s YOU!


You are wondering what the title is all about.

Well, let me explain. Over a week ago, I was reading an article in the UK Daily Mail and the story was about a 40-something year old woman who had been in a relationship for seven years. She described her relationship as stable and loving. She also explained that she and her partner were both financially successful. When she turned 42, she began yearning for a child. She discussed it with her partner and he didn’t seem too keen. In her words, ‘My partner insisted he did not want children. Because he was so adamant, I smothered the feelings that were beginning to eat away at me from the inside’ Long story short, he eventually left her. Years later, in her late 40s, she was miraculously blessed with a child (with her new partner) and then she found out that her ex-partner now also had a child. In her words, ‘When I heard my ex was going to be a father – yes, the one who swore he did not want children – I would have had to repress a strong urge to rush over and axe him to death had I not had Deia (her daughter) by then’

In other words, it was clear that her partner knew she was not the one and did not want a permanent attachment, in this case – a child. If he hadn’t left, she would have clung on to the seemingly ‘stable’ relationship and just withered away. He would have eventually moved on and as she said, the outcome would have been very different. Perhaps even a headline on the nightly news…

It got me thinking. I’m sure you all know the concept of ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. However, I feel as though that focuses on people who have just met or have been in short term relationships.

How about those in long term relationships. I hear of scenarios all the time that makes me just wonder. Sometimes maybe your partner is telling you something. It might be hard to hear but these clear signs point to the fact that YOU are just not the one.

All real stories...

Continue reading the scenarios at the original article: It's Not Me, It's You